April 07, 2015

Letting go of memory

Recently I was unconsciously replaying hard times I experienced in the hands of someone I used to work with when it occurred to me that I had summed up that period in my life into one huge lump of miserable memories when in actual fact very good memories defined that year, I had just put a negative tag on it all.

Being in that situation had afforded me some good opportunities including an incremental pay increase (thanks to this person by the way) that helped me fulfil some dreams I still gain a lot of pride from. Not to talk of the fact that getting that job had been a huge testimony to me in the beginning and although I was this person's target, God didn't let me stay one extra day in an ugly situation when it was the right time to move on. He had ripened another opportunity that had been hot and cold for over a year and suddenly when I desperately needed a way of escape they came calling with double their offer and a position higher than they had offered before.  But in memory I was focusing on the test, not on the testimony!

More often than we realise, our memories rather than serve us well, serve us reminders of things we should forget. Fears... hurts...dark times. And we get violated not just by the events but over and over again, long after events have taken place, we are still being violated by our memories of them.

Each and every time we remember and get transported to that old place of anger, resentment, terror or fear, we need to break the cycle and take it to the Lord in prayer.

"Lord this still hurts, please heal my heart about this situation and help me to let go"

"Lord this fear still persists, please help me overcome and deliver me from all my fears"

He wont change the facts, but he would change our view and help us see things as He sees it.

He'll change our perspective.

When King David lost his son, his servants were so scared to tell him because while the boy was sick, David was inconsolable and now that he was dead they feared David would not be able to take it. But to their surprise when he heard the news, he rose up from his grief and had a bath and a bite. The secret to his ability to move on was obvious when his servants asked him why he had grieved for his son when he was sick yet moved on so quickly when he died. He had gained perspective- a way to see the same set of facts to be able to accept them and move forward.

He would see his son again. His son couldn't come to him but he would go to his son one day in heaven. This perspective gave David enough comfort to continue life as before.

Not too long ago I was reminded of a series of hurtful events and I noted to myself that it would probably top the list of things I'll always feel pain about whenever I thought of it, and out of nowhere I heard an inner voice disagree- "It most likely wouldn't", it said.

I was taken aback. My spirit just didn't agree.

"You'll get over the desire to prove you were right, the desire to see your anger justified, the self inflicted pain that makes you think everything was intentionally done just to hurt you"

It continued.

You'll make room for the possibility that some things were done out of ignorance, immaturity and selfishness and not necessarily with an intention to cause you pain; you'll make room for the reality that worse things happen and people have lost more;you'll see it as a simple part of life you just have to deal with and you'll see you have a choice to deal with it dispassionately too; like one of those things!"

How freeing! It was a truth that set me free because it gave me hope that if not today, there would come a day when I would look at the same set of facts and discard them as flimsy with a well practiced "it's one of this things" and I wouldn't give it one more second of thought.

More than that, it made me realise that although my reality seemed true- it was that hurtful I didn't think I would get over it, ultimately the truth was that I would and that redeeming thought helped me make it my intention rather than my hope. 

Always and every time you remember? Take it to the Lord in prayer. He will cause your thoughts to come into agreement with His will and perspective over that situation and His truth (his perspective on things) will set you free.

Read Part 1- Letting go of memory here: http://www.omonaikee.blogspot.ae/2015/04/letting-go-of-memory.html


  1. Hmm nice one sis...learned to deal with the hurt people offer similarly: simply, I assume that at the time they did this or did that, they didn't know any better. practicable for me cos its turned out to be mostly true!

    1. We probably don't give people the benefit of the doubt as much as we should I guess. But it takes discernment to know when someone doesn't know better or when they are deliberate in their hurtful actions. Then it will take more than excusing their behaviour to deal with it.


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